Written by Kara Anderson
I have met moms who have let themselves go.
Now before you think I mean fashion, or eyeliner, what I’m talking about goes so much deeper than that.
I mean moms who have become so passionate about momming; fallen so in love with their babies; moms who are so desperate to do it all right, that they let themselves go.
Who they are.
What they like.
Their hopes and dreams for what comes after these days of changing diapers, or homeschooling, or raising teens.
I think I recognize this in other moms because it was me.
For many years, I was that mom.
I had all the best intentions. I had in my heart a million things I wanted to do differently, and better.
And I thought that anything else was selfish.
Forget extravagances – I felt like showering was too much to ask for some days.
When I saw how lost I had become, it took me a long time to find myself again.
So I tried on what other people liked, and some of it fit, and some of it stressed me out terribly.
I was sort of like a teenager again.
Am I sassy?
Do I like wearing lipstick?
And of course all of that became a little stressful. (It reminds me of Melissa’s recent post.)
Not knowing who you are anymore is hard – it would be so much easier if we didn’t lose ourselves in the first place, of course.
But can we really be hard on ourselves about trying to be really good moms?
No. No way.
Discovering awesome adulting
I’ve fallen so hard for Julie Bogart’s idea of awesome adulting.
Because it isn’t about choosing between yourself and your family – instead it’s about being you and holding on to you in the midst of these busy homeschool years.
It’s about remembering that some day you are going to come out on the other side, and it would be really helpful to know then if you like lipstick. Or documentaries. Or studying foreign languages. Or roller derby.
It’s about keeping place in your life for you, even though it’s hard.
But I’m here to tell you that it’s so very worth it. And it’s life-changing.
In our most recent episode, when Cait and I asked Julie how we can hold on to who we are when most days we’re just trying to figure out what’s for lunch and what happened to all the socks, she said: “You’re doing it.”
For Cait and me, it’s this podcast, and our writing.
But for you, it could be sewing or woodworking or a fight club.
(It probably shouldn’t be a fight club.)
What does awesome adulting look like?
What’s important is that you find something that speaks to you – to your heart. To who you are and who you hope to be when your kids are grown and very busy off discovering who they are.
I promise – if you try this – it will only be good for your homeschool.
Because being you is important, and I’m not sure how happy we can be if we don’t know who we are.
As an example, last year, I got really into history podcasts. The next thing you know, I couldn’t help but share my own excitement with my kids.
This led to the best year we’ve ever had studying history together, and it was so darn good, that I wrote an e-book about how you can do it.
That book has done pretty well, and it’s made us a few dollars, which we have reinvested into fun museum trips and other adventures together to cool historical places.
I never expected this to happen when I started listening to podcasts while making dinner or cleaning the bathroom.
I just knew that those podcasts made me happy.
So I want to encourage you today to think about things that bring you joy.
And I want you to think about investing in them; investing in you.
Imagine how the BEST YOU could positively impact everything – from your interactions with your kids and spouse, to the attitude you bring to homeschooling every day.
That certainly isn’t selfish, right?
In fact I would say, it’s a pretty fabulous gift that you could give to your family.
Awesome adulting is where it’s at, mamas. And I know it might feel a little intimidating, but don’t worry.
You’ve totally got this, sister.
Awesome adulting resources:
- Episode 10 with the amazing Julie Bogart
- Awesome Adulthood! What is it? How can you get it? (Part One) | Brave Writer
- Do I have to be an awesome adult? (Part Two) | Brave Writer
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
- Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
- Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist
- Carry On, Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton
- Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
- The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison
NOW, IT’S YOUR TURN: WHAT DOES Awesome adulting LOOK LIKE IN YOUR WORLD? What could it look like? SHARE HERE!
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